A Challenge to the World


Time is so irrelevant. What’s quick to the turtle is slow to the fly. I find myself thinking about time an awful lot.

5 years ago I cut ties with people, which ultimately changed my life for the better. I got stronger mentally and physically because of it, and my stress level reduced.

But thinking that would be the end of all the negative constructions in my life was wrong. I forgot there was a thing called trauma, and it would probably haunt me for the rest of my life. It’s a thing I learned with the coming of age.

At age 22, being in a ‘pause’ of your ambitions and life progress, I now more than ever have the ‘hide and seek’ feeling. It’s a strange feeling and is hard to describe, so that’s why I  replace the feeling with an anecdote: Whenever I was little and I used to play hide and seek with my friends or grandparents, I had this nauseous feeling in my stomach when they were looking for me. Cramped in a corner, hearing the footsteps through the house, I always asked myself: ‘What if they don’t find me? I don’t want to lose the game, so I’ll probably have to hide out here forever. Just to win the game.’

That feeling keeps occurring now that I’m older, and I see all my old classmates getting kids, getting married or having a secure job. It’s coming close to an ‘Hey! Don’t leave me behind!’ feeling, but yet it is one I don’t want to admit to. Even if it means that eventually I will win the game, I’ll hide with my problems and medication stacks.

The sentence ‘You’re a challenge to the World’, was something my neurologist said to me yesterday. I saw her after half a year, and much had happened. In the past summer my migraines seemed to be a little monitored, and both of us had a good feeling about it. ‘It won’t be gone, but it will be manageable’. Of course meds come with side effects, and soon I got to experience the best of ‘em. Fainting and eyeballs which are rolling into my sockets, it wasn’t exactly fun. So that was Plan B which failed, and now we’re heading on Plan C. To me it only feels as yet another unsuccessful attempt at overcoming my sickness. I keep hiding until I win the game.

Also, kids, take your meds. I found out that painkillers that contain opioids need to be taken preventive. Results conclude: nausea, fever, heat and cold episodes, basically having a major flu.

The Holy Trinity of migraine relief 

3 remedies that might help your migraines to stop

Last weekend I spend entirely at my boyfriend’s place. I needed the distraction, after a whole week of feeling unwell, having migraine flares for days and being sick. I finally bought the Nintendo Switch, which I was thinking about buying for a long time. It’s an ideal combination console, so I can play on the TV and switch to handheld whenever I get too tired of sitting straight up. Because, yes – this happens often to me. Needless to say I am pleased with my purchase and had a blast so far with the thing.

But the weekend turned out to be one where I was able to catch up all the sleep I lost during my week, ‘cause my migraines were so bad even sleeping wasn’t an option. Even 12 hours of sleep weren’t enough, as I passed out right after breakfast. I was exhausted. So now two days of sleeping later end up with me being awake at 4 in the morning, while writing this. Not the brightest idea, eh?

But it got me thinking. What relieved me from my migraines? Even just a little. Since doctors never found the source of my headaches, I’m still guessing what exactly causes all the pain. During the last 3 years I tried almost anything. But during long lasting periods of migraines, I got my hands on a few things that are helping me a little, so sharing those might help you as well.

As announced, the Holy Trinity:

  • Icepack/wet towels

This is one of those remedies that are simple, but can be super effective. When I’m burning up in my bed and sweating for days, I get myself a towel and make it moist. So whenever a flare is coming up, I can cool myself down. I usually press them onto my temples and apply firm pressure. You can use an icepack as well, but just make sure your head/ muscles don’t go into an actual brain freeze.

  • Essential oils

Whether it’s for my aching shoulders or for my luring headaches, I have essential oils for everything. My favorite kinds are the rollers from Puressentiel, which combine multiple kinds of oils (like lavender and peppermint) for optimal relief. When I’m experiencing a fibro and-or migraine flare, I just rub some on and have a rest- so they can do their work.

  • Prescribed medication

Of course these are all wonderful alternatives, but when it comes down to the most horrible pains, a girl’s gotta have her emergency kit; mine mostly contains out of painkillers called Dafalgan Codeine. Now, I really DON’T want to advertise meds. They should only be taken when needed. Dafalgan Codeine is a paracetamol based pill with codeine, a strongly addictive painkiller used only for post-surgery. But as told, no doctor can find a cure for my migraines, and so of this moment this is the only prescribed medication that eases my pain.


If you think about getting medication for your health, please speak to a doctor or specialist who can help you along the way.





Check-ups, little embroidery and bujo’ing

It’s no fun when you have to convince people you’re actually sick and not a phony, especially when we chronically ill have little physical proof of it. Yesterday was my check up with the Federal government, where they would check if I am ‘sick enough’ to stay home and receive an income. Its the second time, since the previous one only contained a check for my migraine. I was in the middle of my fibromyalgia diagnosis, so it got no chance of being approved as a legal reason. I only hope that this time, I’ll get a pass. Money is no big deal to me, but I have no income whatsoever. If my doctors tell me I have the right to it, I know I deserve it.

But enough about boring money stuff, I got back on embroidery. As a break from the big table-cloth, I bought a square meter of blank fabric to draw patterns on. With some new stitching techniques I started on a new piece.

Its fun to get a break from a long-term project, so doing this went really fast and really well. Its mainly to try out the new fabric and threads, while doing something more creative.

It turned out pretty nice for a first go! I’d give myself a nice 7.

I wanted to go buy a book with all kinds of stitches in, but our local bookstore apparently is so hipster it only sells knitting books. So while I was at the store, I threw some money in the air and bought a bullet journal guide, together with brush pens and calligraphy pens. The guide has some really cool designs for monthly spreads, tracking ideas and creative lettering. More on my bullet journal is coming up in a later post!


Thats all for now. Enjoy the weekend!

xoxo, Shayenne